"The tempature is 120 Degrees Fahrenheit"

Americans: OMG
Canadians & europeans: ...
Canadians & europeans: *open internet converter*
Canadians & europeans: *converts to Celsius*
Canadians & europeans: SHIT!
74,650 notes

girlgrowingsmall:

fuckyeahashes:

roachpatrol:

Thanks, OK Cupid. 

OH MY FUCKING GOD

girlgrowingsmall:

fuckyeahashes:

roachpatrol:

Thanks, OK Cupid. 

OH MY FUCKING GOD

(via megustaaaaaaa)

129,038 notes

I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure this riddle out, Stark.

asksassystark:

askdarcybamflewis submitted: 

Sleep with one eye open.

106 notes

So this just happened

throwingmilkshaakesatcars:

I’m standing outside the store smoking and some dudebro walks by, looks me up and down and says, “Baby girl how do you look so cool when you’re so hot?”

And before I could even think the words just fell out of my mouth.

“I’ll fucking kill you.”

His jaw fell open, he muttered a tiny “sorry” then scurried off.

(Source: stupidswampwitch, via line0fdurin)

25,150 notes

smecklesandmoose:

zerophiliac:

wingeddildos:

notsammy-sam:

noneforsusanbye:

unlimitedobsessions:

imtheradiantbanana:

sometimesawandererstays:

ruinedchildhood:

A new Furby set for release fall 2012.

So this is how the world will end.

Good god they glow. AS IF THEY WEREN’T TERRIFYING ENOUGH ALREADY.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

DEAN, GET THE SALT.

((NOPE *throws self out window*))

image 

69,495 notes

(Source: gaygaara, via toocooltobehipster)

21,076 notes

you-shall-kneel-i-am-loki-and-i:

voidxvx:

markusxvx:

OH GOD NO. THE FIRST ONE ON THE BOTTOM HAHAHAHA

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

JESUS GUYS RESPECT JOHN’S PRIVACY DID YOU SERIOUSLY VIDEOTAPE HIM TAKING A BATH 

(Source: gif-arium, via thorsies)

101,916 notes

(via gatorbiscuits)

171 notes

slytherinmyswagkorra:

/dead

(Source: dormtainment, via acciojensenackles-archive)

52,789 notes


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

(Source: secretsbest, via mykansasboys)

514,803 notes

lokifeelsruinedme:

y0u-never-kn0w:

meanmugsandshouldershrugs:

what the fuck did I just watch.

what

oh my god

(via deadbyproxy)

58,138 notes

(via lovelydyedlocks)

41 notes

(Source: smile-when)

362 notes

ladygagastuff:

Katy Perry’s talent in 30 seconds

(Source: fartpop, via maybejustcreation)

62,365 notes